What Can I Expect From Marriage?—Part 1

What Can I Expect From Marriage?—Part 1 “When we’re together, I’m walking on clouds! I can’t wait to be with him!” “We hardly have anything in common. Rather than marriage mates, we’re roommates. I feel so lonely!” AS YOU probably guessed, the first statement above was made by a single girl; the second statement, by someone who is married. What you may not realize is that both statements were made by the same person. What went wrong? If you look forward to getting married someday, how can you prevent a romantic dream from turning into a troublesome marriage? Fact of life: Much of your happiness in marriage depends on what you expect from it. This article—along with the “Young People Ask” article in next month’s Awake!—will help you to have realistic expectations. What can you realistically expect from marriage? In short, you can: Expect benefits Expect challenges Expect the unexpected Let’s take a close look at each of these. EXPECT BENEFITS The Bible promotes a positive view of marriage. (Proverbs 18:22) Here are some benefits you can expect. Companionship. The Bible says that some time after the first man, Adam, was created, God said: “It is not good for the man to continue by himself,” after which He created Eve as Adam’s companion. (Genesis 2:18) God made each of them with unique attributes so that they would be different, yet compatible. Thus, a husband and wife make excellent companions for each other.—Proverbs 5:18. Partnership. The Bible says: “Two are better off than one, because together they can work more effectively.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9, Good News Translation) That is certainly true of marriage. “It’s all about working as a team and being humble and willing to yield once in a while,” says a recently married young woman named Brenda. * Intimacy. The Bible says: “The husband should meet his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should do the same for her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:3, Common English Bible) When married, you can enjoy having sex without the anxiety and regret that are so often the sad consequences of premarital sex.—Proverbs 7:22, 23; 1 Corinthians 7:8, 9. The bottom line: Marriage is a gift from God. (James 1:17) When you abide by his principles, you can expect marriage to be a richly rewarding way of life. To think about: Is your view of marriage soured by poor examples that you have observed—perhaps in your own family? If so, what positive role models can you look to that are worthy of imitation? EXPECT CHALLENGES The Bible presents a realistic view of marriage. (1 Corinthians 7:28) Here are some challenges you can expect. Conflict. No two humans are identical—except that they’re imperfect. (Romans 3:23) So a husband and wife will occasionally have conflicts, no matter how compatible they seem. Sometimes they may even say unpleasant things that they later regret. “A person who never said anything wrong . . . would be perfect,” says the Bible. (James 3:2, Holy Bible—Easy-to-Read Version) Rather than idealistically trying to avoid all disagreements, successful couples learn how to discuss and settle them when they arise. Disappointment. “We’re bombarded with movies and TV shows in which the girl finds her ‘perfect’ match and lives happily ever after,” says a girl named Karen. When a marriage fails to live up to such an ideal, both mates may become disillusioned. Of course, after marriage both mates are bound to discover additional imperfections and quirks in each other. The key is to remember that true love “endures all things”—even disappointment.—1 Corinthians 13:4, 7. Anxiety. The Bible says that married people are “anxious for the things of the world.” (1 Corinthians 7:33, 34) Such anxiety is normal and often even proper. For example, you may find it challenging to make ends meet. Both mates might have to work just to pay for food, clothing, and a place to live. But you can succeed if you work as a team to provide for your household.—1 Timothy 5:8. The bottom line: If dating is like flying a kite, marriage is like piloting a plane. You’ll need considerably more skill and effort to deal with the turbulent challenges—but you can succeed. To think about: How do you handle conflict now with your parents and siblings? Are you able to put disappointments in perspective? How do you deal with anxiety? IN THE NEXT “YOUNG PEOPLE ASK” . . . How can Bible principles help you to expect the unexpected? WHAT YOUR PEERS SAY Brittany—I think it’s a bad idea to get married simply because you’re tired of being asked, “When are you going to get married?” After all, when problems arise, you will be the one who has to deal with them—not the people who are pressuring you. Ciara—Emotions can keep people from thinking clearly. That’s why I think parents should have a big part in your choosing a mate. After all, they know you really well, so they should be able to help you find someone who is right for you. WHAT DO YOU THINK? Josh and Melanie have been dating for a year. During that time they nearly broke up twice. The first time, Josh threatened to call it quits when he accused Melanie of flirting with other boys. The second time, Melanie gave Josh an ultimatum when she could no longer endure his accusations. Both times Josh and Melanie were able to resolve their differences. What do you think? Do you see any danger signs in the relationship described above? The fact that Josh and Melanie nearly broke up more than once indicates what? On the other hand, what does the fact that they resolved their problems tell you? What, do you think, can Josh and Melanie expect from marriage? WHY NOT ASK YOUR PARENTS? Discuss the box “What Do You Think?” with your parents. See if their views of Josh and Melanie differ from yours. PREVIOUS NEXT E-MAIL LINKPRINT DOWNLOAD OPTIONS EPUBPDFMP3AAC PODCASTS TABLE OF CONTENTS PREVIOUS NEXT The Fascination With Doomsday Doomsday Fears Loom Large Doomsday May Not Be What You Think What Can I Expect From Marriage?—Part 1 The Bible—A Book of Accurate Prophecy—Part 5 A Closer Look at Today’s Zoos Fish Schooling Do You Need Organized Religion? Medieval Masters of Medicine Medical Alternatives to Blood Transfusions Watching the World The Versatile Lemon For Family Review Related Articles What Can I Expect From Marriage?—Part 2 JW.ORG / OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES READ The Bible The Watchtower Awake! More... LEARN ABOUT The Bible’s Answers Jehovah’s Witnesses DOWNLOAD Magazines Books & Brochures Music More... FIND RESOURCES FOR Couples & Parents Teenagers Children CONTACT US Request a Bible Study Visit Our Offices Write to Us Enable accessibility mode

YOUNG PEOPLE ASK

Is This Person Right for Me? 00:0000:00 Have you found someone who might be a good marriage partner? If so, how can you tell if that person is right for you? It’s vital that you look beyond superficial traits. After all, the cutest girl may not be trustworthy or the most popular boy may not be morally upright. You want someone you’ll be comfortable with—someone who truly fits your personality and your goals.—Genesis 2:18; Matthew 19:4-6. Looking Beyond the Surface Look at your friend objectively. Be careful, though! You might be inclined to see only what you want to see. So take your time. Try to perceive your friend’s true nature. Many who date don’t look beyond the surface. Instead, they quickly point to the things they have in common: “We like the same music.” “We enjoy the same activities.” “We agree on everything!” However, you need to look beyond superficial traits. You need to discern “the secret person of the heart.” (1 Peter 3:4; Ephesians 3:16) Rather than focus on how much you agree on things, it might be more revealing to note what happens when you disagree. For example, consider the following: How does this person handle conflict—by insisting on his or her way, perhaps giving in to “fits of anger” or “abusive speech”? (Galatians 5:19, 20; Colossians 3:8) Or does this person show reasonableness—a willingness to yield for the sake of peace when no issue of right or wrong is at stake?—James 3:17. Is the person manipulative, possessive, or jealous? Does he or she demand to know your every move? “I hear of dating couples who fight because one person can’t stand that the other hasn’t constantly ‘checked in,’ ” says Nicole. “I think that’s a bad sign.”—1 Corinthians 13:4. How is that one viewed by others? You may want to talk to those who have known this person for some time, such as mature ones in the congregation. That way you will know if he or she is “well reported on.”—Acts 16:1, 2.

Para Ti Com Amor H.

Hoje resolvi escrever um pouco mais. Como sempre minha mind tem sempre algo para me surpriender, fiz as pazes com ele o proprio que deixou o meu coracao em chamas. E engracado que brigamos tanto, que as vezes parece nao ter solucao para a nossa volta, mas basta passar dois dias ou menos que os nossos olhares se cruzam os animos ja bem mais calmos, a saudade de beijar um ao outro aumenta, o coracao nao consegue esconder tamanho "AMOR", que bate tao forte parece que vai explodir. E aquele desejo forte de ter-lo em meus bracos humm, so sei que o Amo as much as I love myself. Lembrei-me agora, o nosso Amor, parece aquela musica, "foi assim como ver o mar a primeira vez que meus olhos se viram no teu olhar", esta sempre em dia. Se um dia chegar-mos a velhice meu Caro Maridao, Senhor dos meus desejos, Rei do meu castelo de vidro e chave do meu coracao, desejo ir-me primeiro, so para que sintas um pouco mais de saudades minhas. Lembro-me da primeira vez que me tiveste fisicamente, disseste:- agora sim es minha e sorrias como louco, e eu cobria-me de vergonha, por ver um homen nu a minha frente, pela primeira vez, sujei o teu lencol com a carne que cubria a minha passagem secreta e com o sangue puro de uma virgem, confesso, apartir deste momento inraizastes a minha alma.

Senti Saudades Tuas...

Hoje, assim do nada, bateu-me aquela saudade incomparavel de quando tudo ainda nao fazia sentido, emocoes, tristezas e alegrias misturam-se nesta saudade. Desejei voltar no tempo em que brincavamos 35 vitorias, bica bidon, esconde esconde, carrafinha enfim, tantas brincadeiras que ate a memoria me falha. Coisas que ja nao voltam, mas ficam armagenados nas nossas memorias. Hoje tudo mudou, as brincadeiras sao tao violentas que acarretam lessoes incuraveis, nada e inocente, a mente se deturpa de tal maneira que nao consegue discernir o mal do bem! Ah tempo da minha infacia, quem dera te trazer de volta. Sinto tanto tua falta. Gostaria de brincar descalca, andar de cuequinhas sem me preocupar com as mentes sujas dos seres humanos, de ficar em casa da minha vizinha como se fosse minha, oh tempo gostoso, eu quero me cortar minimiga com a minha melhor amiga, e depois fazer as pazes so para brincar-mos ao ilastico. Senti saudades Tuas oh minha infancia, de contar as horas para ir a escola e ter um assunto sem necso para contar as minhas amigas e jogar zero, e trocar olhares com o menino mais lindo da classe...Sinto tua falta!!

Ok, today I'm not in a good mood. Estou naquele dia em que tudo me irrita sabe, os nervos a flor da pele, uma palavra mal empregue e me deixa em pranto, you know muito sensivel mesmo, por isso Mor cala-te.

A verdade sobre o NATAL...

POR QUE o espirito natalino esta em alta?

O natal esta chegando. Para voce, isso e motivo de alegria ou de preocupacao? Milhoes de de pessoas se perguntam: Para quem vou dar presentes? O que vou comprar? Tenho dinheiro para isso? Quanto tempo vou levar para pagar as dividas?

Apesar dessas preocupacoes, o Natal continua em alta. Ele ate chegou a Paises nao cristaos. No Japao, a maioria das familias comemora o natal nao por causa de seu significado religioso, mas apenas como uma data festiva. Na China, "o rosto corado e alegre do Papai Noel aparece em todas vitrines nas cidades grandes", diz o The wall street journal, acrescentando: " A febre do Natal esta contagiando a crescente classe media urbana da China, servindo como desculpa para fazer compras, comer e festejar."

Em muitas partes do mundo, o Natal tem dado um grande impulso a economia local. Isso aconteceu principalmente na China, que hoje e uma grande potencia na exportacao de arvores de plastico, fitas decorativas, luzes cintilantes e outros itens da parafernalia natalina, diz o jornal.

Paises de maioria muculmana tambem promovem festividades parecidas as do Natal, embora nao sejam realizadas necessariamente no dia 25 de Dezembro. Em Ancara, na Turquia, e em Beirute, no Libano, e comum ver vitrines decoradas com arvores de Natal e caixas embrulhadas com papel de presente. Na Indonesia, hoteis e shopping centers patrocinam eventos especiais, e as criancas podem tirar fotos ou comer com o Papai Noel.

No Ocidente, o Natal praticamente perdeu a conotacao religiosa e e apenas uma data comercial, com muitas propagandas "descaradamente direcionadas as crancas", diz o informativo Royal Bank Letter, do Canada. E verdade que algumas pessoas ainda assistem a cerimonia natalinas, que se tornaram os novos templos. Por que essa mudanca? Sera que ela tem a ver com a origem do Natal? Que origem e essa?

Antes de analisar essas perguntas, seria bom ler os relatos biblicos que supostamente serviram de base para as cenas do nascimento de Jesus.

O QUE OS ESCRITORES DOS EVANGELHOS DIZEM

O apostulo Mateus:" Depois de Jesus ter nascido em Belem da Judeia, nos dias de Herodes, o rei, eis que vieram astrologos das regioes orientais a Jerusalem, dizendo:' onde esta aquele que nasceu rei dos judeus? Pois vimos a sua estrela e viemos prestar-lhe homenagem.'

O Rei Herodes, ouvindo isso, ficou agitado."

Entao, Herodes perguntou aos "principais sacerdotes...onde havia de nascer o Cristo".

Ao saber que seria "em Belem", Herodes disse aos astrologos: " Ide e procurai cuidadosamente a criancinha, e quando a tiveres achado, avisai-me."

"[Eles] partiram; e eis que a estrela que tinham visto quando estavam no Oriente ia adiante deles, ate que se deteve por cima do lugar onde estava a criancinha....Ao entrarem na casa, viram a criancinha com Maria sua mae. " Dai, deram presentes a Jesus. "No entanto, por terem recebido em sonho um aviso divino para nao voltarem a Herodes, retiraram-se para o seu Pais por outro caminho."

"Depois de eles se terem retirado, eis que o anjo de Jeova apareceu a Jose num sonho, dizendo: Levanta-te, toma a criancinha e sua mae, foge para o Egito... Levantou-se, pois e tomou de noite a criancinha e sua mae, e retirou-se...Herodes, vendo entao que tinha sido logrado pelos astrologos, foi tomado de grande furia e mandou eliminar todos os meninos em Belem e em todos os distritos, de dois anos de idade para baixo, " mateus 2:1-16.